that is funny… i remember those days well. thanks for the read. -w

Huh. Went to check this while updating to the new design and found out that the site seems to be missing a huge chunk of stuff from 2005, including my contribution. Oh well…

For the record, I managed to dig up the original text. Here it is:

Ah, the joys of being a bachelor…

I had moved away from home for about a year, maybe less, and was still coming to grips with all the domestic duties that one takes for granted while still living with one’s parents. I initially approached cooking as a very matter-of-fact exercise. I needed to eat, and didn’t care much about flavour, nutrition or variety. Several weeks of this though, and my body started to let me know that it had a contrasting opinion about food.

Fortunately, I lived in a high-rise building which was situated directly above a small suburban shopping mall, and every night after work I could go and cruise for near-expiry-date discounts. Most of the time this would be the BBQ chickens, but occasionally, I’d be able to pick up a meat tray, or various other things.

Now, about the toaster. This appliance is truly the one kitchen item that I could not ever live without. It’s a toaster! It’s an oven! It’s a… toaster oven! For those times when it seems too time consuming or wasteful to use the oven, or if you think a toaster which only makes toast is a waste of precious kitchen benchtop space, then this is the perfect solution. My Ronson toaster oven is a truly versatile piece of kit – it makes the best toast (crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside), can do a quick roast, or just heating up leftovers. There used to be one of these back at my parent’s place, and the first thing I did when I moved out was to buy one of these for myself.

So anyway, one night I happened to find a tray of rissoles on the cheap. So I took them home, put half of them in the freezer, and the other half into the toaster to heat up. As usual, I went off to watch TV or something while waiting, when I hear this almighty BANG! of shattering glass emanating from the kitchen. At first, I thought it might have been somebody fighting down in the streets below, since the kitchen window was open, therefore the sound of the street would naturally come from that direction.

Then I walked into the kitchen…

My first thought was “thank god, the rissoles are done” but not long afterwards, the realisation that my pride-and-joy had just exploded sunk in. The glass had mainly exploded outwards, so thankfully the rissoles were still edible. After dinner, I got out my digital camera and took a few shots for the sake of prosperity, and also ‘coz its not every day that your toaster blows up. If I had to guess, there was probably some kind of imperfection in the glass door which, after too much heat, cracked under stress and just blew apart.

The following weekend, I took the exploded contents, along with a print-out of the picture, to the place where I had bought it from only months earlier. The salesman was aghast at what he saw, which turned into laughter when I showed him the picture. He asked me whether he could keep it, so I gave it to him.

Unfortunately, they no longer stocked that model, so he had to give me a refund. I took the money, shopped around, but most places didn’t have that model, and on the rare occasion that they did, they were selling it for much dearer than what I had paid for it. In the end, I got one shop to sell it to me at their cost price, which helped them to clear their stock, and for me, wasn’t too much more than what I had originally paid for it. Yes, I bought exactly the same model again…

… it has served me well these last 3 years. God forbid it should explode on me again, ‘coz this time I won’t be able to find a replacement.

Ronson, if you somehow read this, please send me all of your remaining stock of this model of toaster. I’d be more than happy to take it off your hands for free :P

The Wayback Machine has an archive of my page :-)
http://web.archive.org/web/20050211134103/http://www.1000words.net/

Click “Gallery” then “My toaster exploded”.