Pork pies

It’s been a long time between drinks, eh? I’m back, bitches! Yo, ho, wassup bling yo and all that. My desire to write has finally returned, albeit the skills side of things is a bit rusty. Going for quantity over quality is probably the way forward for now, so you’re going to have to put up with drivel like the above (or more of the below, depending on whether you like my style) until I regain my awesome writing powers.

What’s been happening? Well for one thing, I’m now married since the last time I posted. Jenny is wonderful. Life is good. What more needs to be said? There was a time when I really wanted to write to chastise the not-insignificant number of people who piked on our wedding reception, and I may still return to that topic in the future (maybe a 1-year anniversary blog post or something) but for now you have the benefit of a busy work schedule to thank for not having to endure that particular diatribe.

Lastly, pork pies. I picked up a couple of these on special from Coles the other day. Given my love of pies, I figured these little gourmet numbers should be pretty good, their being made out of pork notwithstanding. But no, they were horrible. If you’ve ever had those “Little dragon dumplings” in any restaurant that serves Northern Chinese cuisine, you’ll have an understanding of what the filling is like. A salty chunk of minced pork, “soup” and all (you know, that volcano-hot liquid that squirts right to the back of your throat when you bite into the thing, and burns all the way down your oesophagus), except that it’s wrapped up in pie pastry instead of, um… the Chinese dumpling pastry. I can only describe the overall experience as “yumcha pie”. Suffice to say I will be sticking to your good old regular Aussie meat pie from now on.

Hoard or horde?

I’ve taken a very long runway into Christmas as far as gaming is concerned. Over the last 6 months or so I must have poured $1,000 – give or take a few hundred – into buying games and gaming equipment. The reasons (read: excuses) for acquisition are many and varied – a fantastic deal on the forums, a good cause (more about this later), the excitement of bidding on eBay, etc. etc. In my defense, I do tend to be a late adopter – that is, I don’t buy things until they’re well into their market lifecycle when it’s much cheaper, so this isn’t as expensive a hobby as it could have been.

Sometimes I just can’t help myself. For example, one enlightened soul on the Overclockers Australia forums offered to give away part of his games collection on the condition that interested takers must make “bids” by pledging to buy chickens from the Oxfam Unwrapped website. That was just too cool. I bid 2 chickens ($20) for a copy of “Chris Sawyer’s Locomotion”. The game isn’t even that good.

It’s not as if I don’t already have a severe backlog of unplayed games, or can’t think of better things to do with my time and money (little things like, say, planning a wedding?!), yet I still felt deep down inside that I needed more games. My conquests continued… first Nintendo DS, and another (because my bro decided to keep the one that I asked him to pick up for me) and then another (for Jenny, natch). Some games with that sir? Yes please! Next a PSP and more games, and even a couple of non-games (travel guides for Europe, and a UMD movie) just to show that it’s not just about gaming. All the while I was also adding to my PC games collection. Meanwhile, this year I have only managed to play and complete 2 games (God or War, and Prince of Persia 2: The Warrior Within).

It’s not that there is a gap in my life that needs to be filled, but rather, it’s something that I am interested in and that I find myself drawn to, in the same way that Jenny is drawn to movies. Problem is, a typical game will require a commitment between 10 – 50 hours, whereas your average movie is over and done with in a couple of hours. If only the games weren’t so damn good! The industry continues to come up with so much great stuff that even Jenny is now an avid gamer, regularly reaching for the Nintendo DS and Sudoku (part of Dr. Kawashima’s Brain Training game).

I just can’t bear to miss out on great gaming moments. Right now, people are raving on about the recently released Okami, and the soon-to-be-released Final Fantasy XII. I imagine that within the next 12 – 24 months, I will acquire these games one way or another, probably through a great deal on the forums or eBay, and another hundred-or-so hours of my life will be pledged away to the Lord of Interactive Entertainment. It’s like serving multiple life sentences, except in a pleasurable way…

For the record, in 2006 I added the following to my collection:

PlayStation 2
The PlayStation 2 console itself (slimline)
SingStar Rocks! (thanks Diem and EJ!)
Guitar Hero (Diem and EJ again… hmm….)
Gran Turismo 4
ICO
Shadow of the Colossus
God of War
Resident Evil 4 (wait for it…)
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2

Gamecube
Resident Evil 4 Collectors’ Edition (yes, I have the same game on 2 different consoles)
Resident Evil 4 Chainsaw Controller (best Valentines’ Day gift ever from Jenny!)
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

Nintendo DS
3 (yes, that’s three) Nintendo DS Lite units, one of which went to my brother in Adelaide
2 x Dr. Kawashima’s Brain Training (1 copy with my bro)
New Super Mario Bros.
Mario 64 DS
Metroid Prime Hunters
Tetris DS (courtesy of Amazon.com gift vouchers, and with thanks to Greg for bringing it over from the US)
Mario Kart DS (Greg…)
Yoshi’s Island DS (… is…)
Kirby’s Canvas Curse (… my…)
Clubhouse Games (… hero!)

PC
Locomotion (here chooky, chooky, chooky)
Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones (I really liked the first two, so I had to get the third)
Age of Empires III
Dungeon Siege II
Dungeon Siege II – Broken World expansion
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Tomb Raider Legend
Vampire: The Masquerade – Redemption
Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines
Psychonauts (on “indefinite loan” from my bro’s friend)

PSP
PSP value pack with 1GB memory stick
Lumines
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (thanks again to Diem!)
Passport to London
Passport to Paris
Passport to Rome
Serenity (UMD movie)

Yeah. All I have to say is… erk.

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Still on the gaming theme: at midnight tonight, the Nintendo Wii will be unleashed onto the Australian public. One person on the Ars Technica forums noted that in their latest Financial report, Nintendo casually mentioned that their mission is to make the Wii part of peoples’ lives. Considering that the machine continues to be continually sold out in all of the countries where it has been released, I imagine that they have a pretty good shot at achieving that goal. I wonder if anybody has even done a study to measure the ratio of gaming devices to television sets in a household. If they did, I imagine that that number will have jumped significantly.

Sorry, you ring the Wong number…

A strange thing happened just now. I got a call from a couple who had just bought a new Sony TV, and apparently there was a sticker on there with my surname and mobile phone number handwritten on it. My job was to supposedly show them how to install the TV/DVD/Austar channel or something!

Fortunately, they were nice enough about it, and humoured me while I asked them various questions so that I might have a chance at finding who has my details and why they are telling people to contact me for TV servicing. They did mention that they bought the TV from Betta Electrical, and a glimmer of memory presented itself.

About 4 years ago, when I first moved to Sydney, I bought an “open box” TV. That is, it was only used for a couple of days at a conference or something, then put back into the box and sold. There was an ad in the newspaper which I responded to. Not sure why after all these years they’ve “promoted” me to TV guy. Maybe it’s a sign that I should change careers…

On mediocrity and undeserved praise

I was greatly heartened today to see an opinion piece in last Saturday’s Sydney Morning Herald that spoke of a topic which has also been very irksome to me. In my case, it is the tendency for people in church to “over-express” themselves in heaping on praise after any kind of performance, whether good, bad or in between. As the article describes it “… we have become infected with the US disease that sees audiences on their feet no matter how mediocre the work or inadequately it is presented.”

Say that to somebody at church, and you will inevitably be met with a response that includes words such as “generosity”, “encouragement” etc. Sure, by all means be gracious in your acceptance of their otherwise dire performance, but why reward it?? How is it anything but mental and/or emotional manipulation? Personally, if I knew or felt that my own performance was crap, then a standing ovation will just make me feel contempt for the audience, because I will think that they know it too, and are ovating me (that sounds rude, doesn’t it?) out of charity, or worse. But that’s me. I’m sure there are some people out there who are encouraged by that sort of thing.

The other aspect of it is the cheapening of extravagance. This too, is covered more eloquently in the article, about how every marvellous thing has been taken and reduced down to a mere token gesture by the frequency and mindless ease with which it is being used.

So, in future if you’re up on stage giving the performance of your life, and at the end of it I’m still sitting down, don’t worry. It means that I have respectfully considered your act and found it not quite deserving of my highest praise. And if you do get a standing ovation from me then you know you’ve truly performed exceptionally. What are these other turkeys going to do? Start jumping up and down in their seats? Sheesh.

One of the important questions in life answered

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. But if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

(Caesar’s made up additions)

He picked a peck, then pecked the pick,
He pecked the lot, wow what a prick! (excuse my French)
All of the peppers, that Peter did nick
That Peter Piper,
The nicker of peppers
Pecker of what’s nicked
No trickier nicker
Did ever exist
So Peter Piper nicked the pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked!