The besterestest ever!!!

Finish MAX-in-1 dishwasher tabletsAh, the travesties that marketing-types continue to inflict on the English language. Exhibit A: Finish Max in 1 dishwashing tablets.

Prior to moving into our current apartment, I had never lived anywhere that had a dishwasher, nor used one before. Therefore I was completely ignorant of the dishwashing detergent arms race that was happening all around me. Crockery Decontamination Engineers (as I’m sure they’re called) battled each other, through feats of arcane alchemy, for Ultimate Cleaning Glory!

Hence, we have dishwashing tables that boast an increasing levels of sophistication: 5-in-1, 7-in-1, I think I’ve even seen 15-in-1. But now, they must all bow down to the new Finish MAX-IN-1!

I can just picture that marketing board meeting:

Executive: OK team, sales are down, the economy is tanking, but I still need to finish paying off my boat. What have we got?
Marketing: Well, those other guys are starting to sell their 15-in-1 tablet. Um… maybe we could do 20, or 30-in-1…?
Executive: No, no… we need something… bigger!
Marketing: What about 100-in-1?
Executive: Can you get bigger than that?
Marketing: Er, yes.
Executive: Dammit, work with me here!
Marketing: What about… “Max” as in “Maximum”?
Executive: Max-in-1… hmm… I like it! Let’s go with that.

At this point, you can imagine Strunk, White, the Fowler brothers and Bryson all rolling over in their graves. Well, Bill Bryson isn’t dead yet, so maybe he turned in his sleep or something.